Miss WandaLuv
For those of you who didn't know, I am also the fabulous Miss WandaLuv
! This page is where I will post humourous thoughts or snippets that I think will bring a smile to your day. If I offend you, just go back to the home page and start over. Or better yet, order Wait for Love: A Black Girl's Story. That will more than make up for my BIG AZZ MOUTH!
Random thoughts-
"Uh...can I get some dyck to go with that condom?"
"I'm just a fat girl in remission..."
"Clearance Sale Titties - Titties that have been mauled and pawed, pulled and groped, but never seem the leave the sale table; they're just hanging around for the next customer..."
If you hear these responses, you might have an ugly baby:
1. "Oh, that's your baby?"
2. "She sure has come a long way..."
3. "That baby don't take no good pictures..."
4. "Forget tying a porkchop around her neck - throw the pig on her!"
5. "Dayum!"
Weight Loss Tip #1 - Wear all black; it makes you look slim!
Correction to Weight Loss Tip # 1 - I am all black; that s*it doesn't work! Come outside naked and see what happens...If you are 500lbs and put on a black tee shirt you are now 500lbs with a black tee shirt on!
Broke-Aholic Blues!
If you get happy when you find a $10 ATM...
If you are robbing Peter to pay Paul, and Paul wants to whoop your azz...
If your income tax refund for 2010, 2011, and 2012 is already spent...
If your paycheck for the next three weeks on your new job is spent, and the first day of work is in three days...
If you are finally getting your turn to "own" the family car that is 20 years old...
If you are banned from using lay-a-way because you never pick up the items...
Already??
Govenor David Patterson and his wife have admitted to having extramarital affairs.
His excuse - I couldn't see who's punany it was...
Her excuse - I'm a ho
Activities Designed NOT For Black Folk...
1. Going to farms to PICK anything. Uh, you do remember cotton don't you?
2. Playing with a fire hydrant. Hmm...look at any tape from the Civil Rights Movement.
3. Bungee Jumping - Self explanatory
4. Going on a cruise. Re-read #1, 2 and 3
Things A Comedian Thinks About More Than Twice Before Saying Out Loud....
1 - Rosa Park's funeral was so long she got up and took the bus to the cemetary. "I'll bury my dayum self..."
2 - Corretta Scott King's funeral was so long she organized a march to protest it
3 - VOTE - The White House will look better in COLOR ( of course I'm voting on the issues...
)
Racial Equality
Lil Jerry came home from school crying. His momma asked him what was wrong.
"Boy, why you makin' all that noise? What's wrong?"
"I got suspended from school for flunking the spelling bee."
"What??? What happened?"
"Well, the teacher asked me to spell Caucasian so I did."
"How you spell it?"
"H-O-N-K-Y."
"What was wrong with that?"
"I don't know. But she gave me another chance. She asked me to spell Chinese, so I did."
"How you spell it?"
"C-H-I-N-K."
"That was wrong?"
"Yes. But she gave me another chance. She asked me to spell Mexican so I did."
"Okay...how you spell it?"
"S-P-I-C."
"Dang...that was wrong, too?"
"Yes. But she gave me another chance. She asked me to spell Negro."
"And...?"
"I spelled it N-E-G-R-O. And then I got suspended."
Okay, if you don't get it or you don't find it funny....hmmm....
If It's FREE, What's The Problem?
Here is something that I simply don't understand. If a website is FREE, why in the world do people act as if they established it or that they had to pay for it? For instance, take My Space. FREE! Why do people set their profiles to private, or say that you have to know their last name in order to add them as a friend??? How are you supposed to make friends with a stranger if you have to know something about them???? DUH, you're a stranger! If you want to keep your life private, don't join a public website and post your pictures for the world to see! STOOPID!!